I finally watched it. To be fair it lived up to my expectations: poor.

The acting was mediocre to say the least and the characters were two dimensional. Well atleast the main two were, the other characters barely had one dimension to split between them. I don't know about anyone else but in school I was taught a story was meant to have a beginning, a middle and an ending; an introduction, some kind of complication or conflict and then a resolution. I guess Ms Meyers not only decided to throw out the traditional vampire and replace it with a mix of sparkle dust and kisses, but also replaced the textbook story outline with her own ~*uneek*~ twist: no excitement whatsoever! And just like the idea of twinkly demons, it failed miserably.
I've got to be honest, I found it hard to just walk out and stop watching because I was sure something good or interesting was going to happen at some point. But no. The longer you watch, the more you need the satisfaction of some really fucking good to happen. Never does. Nope. It was like having awkward, boring sex that lasts far too long without a climax. There may have been the tiniest bit of foreplay but it didn't amount to anything, like awkward teenage fumblings without the slightest clue of what you're doing, the introduction was just as drawn out, dull and lacking in satisfaction as the rest of it.
Can't really say it was a disappointment because going by the 'you can't polish a turd' assumption, the book was bollocks so how was the movie supposed to be any better?


I feel unclean