The Rules:

+ list 11 things you want to say to 11 different people.
+ don't say who they pertain to.
+ feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.
+ never discuss it again.

1. Why do you even bother talking to me and starting conversations if you DON'T LIKE ME?
2. How do you do it?
3. I wish I'd never introduced you to my friends. I don't like hanging out with them anymore because you might be there and you have no idea how angry you make me.
4. I wish we were closer.
5. Actually, I'm not a slut. I'm a girl. It's not hard to say so I don't see your problem.
6. If they ever find out, I'll still be here for you.
7. There are two reasons I keep you distant: I don't want you getting in and hurting me again. Trying to force me to open up is only going to make it worse.
8. I know how much you care, sorry I don't share things with you.
9. If you stopped being so judgemental, bossy and selfish you could actually be a nice person
10. You're the only person I know who seems to be going through crap similar to what I went through. You also seem to deal with it a lot better, does that make you stronger or me, weaker?
11. I'm also crazy... and I think I might be a little bit evil.

What it says on the can

ONE - Write your name without vowels: Jnnfr
TWO- Whats the question? Whats the question?
THREE - Whats your favorite number?: 9
FOUR- What colour do you wear most?: Black D:
FIVE - Least favorite colour: There is this really nasty orangey-almost-skin colour that chavs and skanks wear. It's this kind of colour, but a bit more washed out [link] and its the colour of the super tight mini tube dresses they wear *barf* I hate staying in London, it's skankier than Reading D:
SIX - What are you listening to?: Nevermind The Buzzcocks
SEVEN - Another Loner Question: Eh?
EIGHT - Are you happy with your life right now?: Honestly, no
NINE - Anyone ever said you resemble a celebrity?: Yes and it's depressing ¬_¬
TEN - What is your favorite class in school?: English, it would have been Music or Drama if the rest of the class weren't such nobs probably
ELEVEN - Do you shop at hollister/abercrombie/AE?: Wha?
TWELVE - How do you make money: I don't
THIRTEEN- Who is/are your best friend(s)?: No one atm
FOURTEEN - When do you start back @ school/college?: Uni in October
FIFTEEN - Are you outgoing?: Nope
SIXTEEN - One word to describe you?: Flirty
SEVENTEEN - Favorite pair of shoes?: Irregular Choice Cat Ankle boots <3 (they broke ;~
EIGHTEEN- Do you own huge sunglasses?: Yup, got ones with prescription lenses now too
NINETEEN - Where do you wish you were right now?: In bed with a certain someone
TWENTY- What should you be doing right now?: Schleeeeeeeeping

THE CANS:
Can you blow a bubble?: Yeah...
Can you dance?: Lol!No
Can you do a cart wheel?: Nope
Can you tie a cherry stem?: Nope
Can you whistle?: Yup
Can you wiggle your ears?: No, I'm pretty crap so far
Can you wiggle your nose?: YES! Finally

THE DIDS:
Did you ever get into a fist fight in school?: Hell no *wuss*
Did you ever run away from home?: Only to a party in London with a group of 20 something year olds when I was 15 I don't think I've ever done anything else slightly rebelious
Did you ever want to be a doctor?: Nope
Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?: No, but I wouldn't mind being with one hehe

THE DOS:
Do you believe in God?: I believe in something
Do you know how to swim?: Yeah
Do you like roller coasters?: Hell yes!!
Do you own a bike?: Not anymore
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: Like kangaroo testicles and bugs, hell no

THE DOES:
Does hair loss run through your family?: Don't think so
Does your car get good gas mileage?: I has no car
Does your family have family picnics?: Nope, I had a picnic today with friends though

THE HAVES:
Have you ever been on a plane?: Yup
Have you ever been asked out by someone?: Yup
Have you ever been to the ocean?: Yup
Have you ever gone fishing?: Nope
Have you ever painted your nails?: Yeah, only started to paint them regularly recently though, wanna get good at it

THE LASTS:
Last person you hung out with?: Mel, Annie, Tom, Max, Luke, Oscar, Jules and Freya and Mel's house
Last thing you said out loud?: I'm going to the loo
Last thing someone said to you?: Are going to bed or staying down here?

THE WHATS:
What are you listening to?: Applause on Nevermind The Buzzcocks
What is the temperature outside?: Cold? Ish?
What radio station do you listen to?: I don't
What was the last restaurant you ate at?: Picasso's maybe
What was the last thing you bought?: A packet of Doritoes and some salsa dip
What was the last thing on TV you watched?: Nevermind The Buzzcocks

THE WHOS:
Who is your newest friend you added to Facebook?: Earl
Who was the last person you MSN'd?: Phill
Who talked to you on the phone last?: Warren
Who was the last person you took a picture of?: Lol me (and Muffin)
Who was the last person to leave you a comment?: Cannae be arsed to check

CRYING SECTION:
Have you ever cried your heart out?: Yes
Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Yeah
Ever cried on your friend's shoulder?: P'raps
Ever cried over the opposite sex?: Well yeah
Do you cry when you get an injury?: Sometimes
Do certain songs make you cry?: Yup

HAPPY SECTION:
Are you a happy person?: Not atm but I act happy enough around people
Do you wish you were happier?: Yup
Is being happy overrated?: I dunno, if this is happiness then yes
Can music make you happy?: Yup

LOVE SECTION
How many times have you had your heart broken?: Once or twice

HATE SECTION:
Do you actually hate anyone?: *gets out list*
Ever made a hit list?: No... *hides list*
Have you ever been on a hit list?: Doubt it
Are you a mean bully?: No ¬_¬ I don't think I'd be such a loser if I was
Do you hate George Bush?: He hasn't been a dick to me personally

SELF ESTEEM SECTION:
Is your self-esteem extremely low?: What self esteem...
Do you believe in yourself?: Nope
Are you good looking?: Not compared to all my friends but I'm not hideous
Do you wish you could be someone else?: Not specifically but if there was some miraculous surgery free way I could change the way I look, I'd be on that so fucking fast

LOOK AT ME:
What is your current hair color?: Ginge
Current piercings?: Lobes x 2
Have any tattoos?: Nope
Straight hair or curly: It's a crappy bobbed shape and it flicks out all the wrong ways (my straighteners broke)

CURRENTLY WEARING:
What shirt are you wearing?: Invader Zim hoody
Shoes?: None
Necklaces?: No

HAVE YOU EVER:
Hugged someone?: Who hasn't been hugged?
Been on the phone until the sun came up?: Ha probably
Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: Little bit
Laughed so hard you cried?: Oh god, sometimes it's really bad
Got in a fight with someone?: ¬_¬

THE LAST:
Person you talked to in person?: Mum
Person you talked to online?: Phill
Person you hugged?: Mel
Time you had a shower?: Tuesday evening

RANDOM.
Do you like surveys?: When I'm bored
Do you get along with your parents?: We're close but I'm a distant person if that makes sense
Do you have mental breakdowns?: I don't know

CURRENT:
Current mood: Confused, possibly angry and annoyed
Current thing: Conversations in my head
Current windows open: None


Moods appear to be broken so I'm no longer miserable, perhaps angsty or something. My tummy hurts too

I was going to update with a random meme or something because my journal entry was making me too depressed but now something worse is happening. My puppy has been having back problems and we took him to the vets to find out what was wrong and it turns out he has to have a £3,200 operation. Luckily my brother, my sister, my mum and I have grouped together to afford it (if he doesn't have it he'll have to be put down).
We're going up to London tomorrow for him to have the operation, which is good because the sooner he's not in pain the better. The problem is because it's spinal surgery theres a big risk of him dying or becoming paralysed (which means he'll have to be put down). He's so young and I love him too much for him to die
The worst thing is whenever we've taken Plod of Muffin to the vets seperatly, they've got all nervous and whiny until the other comes back. Looking up everytime they hear the front door go and things like that. If Muffin dies, Plod won't understand whats happened and he'll just always be getting excited like he's expecting Muffin to come back and he never will. It won't be Plof and Muffin anymore, it'll just be Plod and he'll cry at night when he's on his own and when no ones home and it's killing me to think about it.
I don't want him to die

I'm sure many of you have seen that plane disappearance on the news. I don't know if it's the same for other people, but I've always distanced myself from death on the news thinking 'Thank God it isn't anyone I know' and just trying not to think of the people as people with lives because it just makes things harder to deal with. I try to see them as statistics because it's easier to get over than to accept a life has just been taken away and family and friends have been affected. I don't see them as 'real' in a way, just pictures on the news.

I know someone who was on that plane and even though I didn't know him at all well it's amazing how much this affected me. The fact that I know this guy had a life and friends, even though I wasn't involved with it, really upset me. His name was Jose Souza and he was my orthodontist (told you I didn't know him personally) and I only found out because I was meant to have an appointment today and called up to check times. I'm so glad I called because after I found out I started crying and I still think it's a stupid thing to cry about because I didn't know him! I don't know why this has affected me so much but it's like he was there, he was real and now he's gone.

When there has been a tragedy on the news and everyone shares their sympathy, I haven't usually said the same because it's never affected me on a personal level so it would seem really fake to say it to me. Or I have said it to avoid being seen as heartless but I've never really meant it, I don't recall saying it before. But now I do really mean it. RIP to the passengers on that unlucky journay and my sympathy and well wishes go out to the friends and families of those involved.

Although I didn't manage to get a proper shoot at expo, I found some who I've worked with before who is willing to take pics of my cosplay for me ^_^ this is awesome news. He took these set of pictures and I was very happy with the result [link]
I do need to order and style a new wig in a few weeks though so uggggggggggggggggh. The old one got thrown away after Expo, it was beyond being saved and I couldn't be arsed to carry it home. But yay! Should have some new pics up soon *dances*

Now for a quiz

If you have 00-10 ... write [I'm a goody-goody]
If you have 11-20 ... write [I'm still a goody-goody]
If you have 21-30 ... write [I'm average]
If you have 31-40 ... write [I'm a bad kid]
If you have 41-50 ... write [I'm a very bad influence]
If you have 51-60 ... write [I'm a horrible person]
If you have 61-70 ... write [I should be in jail]
If you have 71-80 ... write [I should be dead]

HAVE YOU...

[ ] smoked
[x] consumed alcohol
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[x] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[x] kissed someone of the same sex
[x] had sex
[x] had someone in your room other than family
[x] watched porn
[ ] bought porn
[ ] tried drugs [Twas unintentional may I state D:]

TOTAL SO FAR: 7

[x] taken painkillers
[x] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[x] lied to your parents
[x] lied to a friend
[x] snuck out of the house
[x] done something illegal
[x] felt hurt
[x] hurt someone
[x] wished someone to die
[ ] seen someone die

TOTAL SO FAR: 17

[x] missed curfew
[x] stayed out all night
[x] eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself
[x] been to a therapist
[ ] received a ticket
[ ] been to rehab
[xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] dyed your hair
[x] been in an accident
[x] been to a club
[x] been to a bar

TOTAL SO FAR: 25

[x] been to a wild party
[ ] been to a Mardi Gras parade
[x] drank more than three alcoholic beverages in a night
[ ] had a spring break in Florida
[ ] sniffed anything
[x] wore black nail polish
[x] wore arm bands (Oh wow, I must be totally badass)
[x] wore t-shirts with band names
[x] listened to rap
[ ] owned a 50 Cent CD

TOTAL SO FAR: 31

[x] dressed gothic
[x] dressed girly
[x] dressed punk
[x] dressed grunge
[x] stole something (accidently, I might add D
[x] been too drunk to remember anything
[ ] blacked out
[x] fainted
[ ] had a crush on a neighbor

TOTAL SO FAR: 38

[x] had a crush on a friend
[x] been to a concert
[x] dry-humped someone (your mum)
[x] been called a slut
[x] called someone a slut
[ ] installed speakers in a car
[x] broken a mirror (the bad luck should have worn off by now )
[x] showered at someone of the opposites sex's house
[x] brushed your teeth with someone else's toothbrush (Super gross)

TOTAL SO FAR: 46

[ ] considered Ludacris your favorite rapper
[x] seen an R-rated movie
[ ] cruised the mall
[ ] skipped school (I'm guessing sixth form doesn't count so no)
[x] had surgery
[x] had an injury
[ ] gone to court
[ ] walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping
[x] caught something on fire (my hand D: ok, it was fun)
[x] lied about your age
TOTAL SO FAR: 51

[ ] owned/rented an apartment/house
[ ] broke the law in the police's presence
[x] made out with someone who had a GF/BF (It was at imminent break up time, I didn't cause any bad thigns to happen ;~
[ ] got in trouble with the police
[x] talked to a stranger
[x] hugged a stranger
[ ] kissed a stranger
[ ] rode in the car with a stranger
[x] been harassed
[x] been verbally harassed (I'm a woman living in England, of course I've been verbally harassed...)

TOTAL SO FAR: 56

[x] met face-to-face with someone you met online
[x] stayed online for 5+ hours straight (Uggggggggggh)
[ ] talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight
[x] watched TV for 5 hours straight (Buffy boxset ftw )
[x] been to a fair
[x] been called a bad influence (though I'm totally not *is lovely*)
[ ] drank and drove
[x] prank-called someone
[x] laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex
[x] cheated on a test


Total: 64

I should be in jail D: b-b-b-but I'm lovely ;~;